Carcillo Needs XXXL Helmet

The Chicago Blackhawks’ recently acquired Dan Carcillo must be confusing his career with someone else’s. Apparently he thinks he’s Dave Schultz, the Philadelphia Flyers’ goon-extraordinaire from the 1970’s when such a role was actually impactful to a team’s success.

At that time, Schultz, who could do little other than hit, and especially fight, was truly feared by opponents whose play was always influenced by his presence on the ice. In today’s NHL, the role of the ‘enforcer’ has been reduced to a bit part, barely relevant, given rule changes over the years with the idea of making violence a less important part of the game. This is particularly true during the playoffs when fights are about as common as a Dan Carcillo goal. It would be hard to believe that anyone would be concerned whether Carcillo is on the ice or not.

At a press conference introducing the newest Blackhawks, he and Andrew Brunette, Carcillo was asked about Chicago’s biggest rival, the Vancouver Canucks. "I watched that series (Vancouver and Boston) and I'm actually pretty excited to play them because there's a few guys there that I think played a little bit outside of their shoes. I think I can keep most of those guys in check when we play them this year so I'm pretty excited to play them."

What? Thank goodness the Sheriff’s in town. Those Canucks are completely out of control! Firstly, the Canucks’ physical presence is nonexistent. Secondly, if they had one, Carcillo would hardly be the guy to counter that effectively. He’s not a particularly good fighter (ask Rick Rypien) and he’s in the penalty box way to often because he’s got the control of a bad-tempered 3 year old.

The Canucks are probably anxious to play Chicago to take advantage of all the powerplays they’ll get with Sheriff Dan in the lineup. Carcillo must have pleasant dreams in which he’s named league MVP and Conn-Smythe trophy winner on a Stanley Cup winning team. Where else would he get the idea he’s going to be that important in any NHL game? Wake up Dan. The season’s about to start.